can i offer you a poem in this trying time?
on disappointment, surrender, and lessons from Hafez
Take some time to rest, you deserve it.
When things begin to feel impossible, I tend to crawl back into my shell immediately. A few years ago, as I was coming out of trauma therapy, I had this vision that I actually was a turtle, peeping my head out of my shell for the first time. I had never seen how green the grass is or how beautiful the flowers are. I was so scared to come out of my shell, that I had missed out on seeing the sky at sunset or the dance of the blades of grass. For one second, I forgot why I had stayed in my shell for so long, I became one with everything I was seeing. I swayed with the blades of grass, sang with the sparrows, and remembered what I had come here for: to be one with the earth.
If your heart is heavy or your fears are at the forefront because of the recent state of the world, you are not alone. It is only human to feel crushed under the weight of injustice and destruction. The grief we have been holding over the years continues to grow. When things fall apart, it is natural to want to take a step back. But I am told that it is that moment, that difficult and impossible moment, that has the most important lessons for us. “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”1 If we manage to stay with it, not leave our bodies or numb our feelings, there is great insight into who we are. We will learn greatly about what matters and what is our essence. Pema Chodron says:
“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together, and they fall apart. Then, they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”
People around me have been extremely stressed out for the past few weeks. There is a sense of hopelessness. They are constantly asking, what are we going to do now? If that is you, I hope you have taken the time to care for yourself. (I’ll also share some resources/content I found helpful at the end of this post.) I wondered how to whey in on all the conversations at work; after all, the politics of the US have so many implications for our world of human rights law. But in the midst of this, I keep returning to the idea of surrender—not as defeat, but as a radical shift. When we truly understand the harm in the systems around us, we stop waiting for them to save us. We begin recognizing our power, investing in solidarity, and cultivating love. This is our moment. Each disappointment is an opening, a call to deepen our involvement, to reach out, and to take actions that align with our values. To build with intention and become part of the change we so deeply desire.
There is something so significant in the face of an undesired outcome. The space that opens up in that loss and the shapes that space can take. If those who control our worlds are not listening to us, we fall back on each other, our communities, bridges that require our help to be built, truths that require our understanding. We can run in the face of disappointment, or we can look closely and see each other behind the ruins. The power has always been in the hands of the people. We hold each other and make space for the truths we’re learning to carry. History has shown, again and again, that the power lies with the people. Change has always been born from the strength of human connection and the natural forces that shape us.
So what do we do? Do we hide, or do we work to cultivate more love and community everywhere we go? Do we resort to dread and fear, or do we remember our purpose, what we came here for?
People all around the world live full and beautiful lives while resisting unjust conditions, authoritarian regimes, destruction, and occupation. Their circumstances fall short of perfect, but they experience perfect joy, true human connections, and the ultimate freedom within. I have lived a life and lost many lives under an authoritarian regime. The people's pain is real, but so is their joy, resilience, relationships, and love. We are constantly reminded of what we came to the earth for in the face of destruction, perhaps because nothing reminds us to love now and live now more than sitting face-to-face with the devil daily.
Hafez2 says:
ما بدین در نه پِیِ حشمت و جاه آمدهایم از بد حادثه این جا به پناه آمدهایم
رهروِ منزلِ عشقیم و زِ سرحدِّ عَدَم تا به اقلیمِ وجود این همه راه آمدهایم
We didn’t come here [to this earth] to seek status nor fortune
As a result of an unfortunate accident3, we’ve had to seek refuge here
We are walking a path to the home of love,
all the way from the other side of nothingness,
we’ve traveled far to
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