amidst California fires
stories, resources, and healing recipes
I have lost my home many times; The night I left Iran and every day that I remember that night. The night I stopped seeing our tangerine-colored Isfahan apartment in my dreams. Every day that I live away from home. I have lost my home many times. Every moment I remember home is a place I can never return to, it’s like losing home all over again.
I only moved to Los Angeles a few months ago. It is my newly adopted home and we’re still getting to know each other. But it is a place I have come to understand and love over the past few months. I never understood the hate LA gets. Now that I live here, I understand it even less. The past two weeks has been incredibly heartbreaking and devastating. I had a sweet vacation during the holidays and was riding the high of a beautiful New Year's Eve when the LA fires began. Busy planning and prepping for the first pop-up of the year on the weekend, I woke up congested and migraine-d on a dark morning that didn’t make sense. It felt weirdly dark for 8 am Los Angeles, so I looked out the window and saw the red sun behind the smoke. Then panic set in; I checked the news and the weather and saw the houses burning down, the animals crying in the forest, the raining ash, the families, and the tears. Soon, all the “are you okay?” texts made everything feel real and close, while it was incredibly sweet to know how many people are thinking of us right now. We are very fortunate to live in a place that was spared from the fires. I am very fortunate to be connected to people who show up for their communities in such generous and heartfelt ways.
As much as it broke my heart, I had to cancel my pop-up for the weekend, which made me even more anxious, but this did not feel like a time to gather and drink in a garden. The air has been awful, and despite the closed windows and air purifier, I have been waking up with migraines and congestions constantly. When I left the house and got to my car, it was covered with an inch of ash. I was still in shock when I was filling the cars of families with essentials at a local donation drive; napkins, huggies, toothpaste, gift cards, canned foods, pet food, etc. all packaged by other volunteers. I couldn’t believe it. The way everyone had suddenly come together, sprung into action and made this happen in many different spots across the city, and people were donating from all over the world. As if someone had sent a global memo.
The destruction is incomprehensible. Over ten thousand homes burnt. Entire lives turned into dust. Kitchen tables where meals after meals were once shared and rugs, where children took their first steps, now disappeared. Years, sometimes decades, of memories and history burned into nothingness. We have been witnessing so much displacement for the past year, and our hearts need some time to make room for more grief. Over the weekend, I made food and snacks and dropped them off at my friends’ teahouse, where they were providing free smoke-relief herbal remedies and healing practices: reiki, acupuncture, sound healing, somatic sessions, and more for the community.
People told me about the houses they or their loved ones had lost. They told me about the debilitating uncertainty and the fear they still hold. Each story carrying a similar rhythm and pain to the rest. I wanted to hold them. To listen and cry with them. To tell them that I, too, have learned displacement with my skin and bones. I understand what it means never to be able to return home—the disruption in your mind and body and your perception of life. I know the pain never really goes away. That I get it. But I bit my tongue because my words were lost in the reminders of the vastness of this grief. I heard about the dreams that burnt. Family legacies from generations ago. A ranch belonging to an Armenian refugee family, who had lived there for over seventy years, now turned grey and empty. I met someone else who had just lost her house in Altadena. As I sorted clothing donations with her, I was delighted to see the joy in her eyes anytime we found something “flowy” in the clothes. She told me about her business and the life she was building after recently leaving a complicated living situation. It was deeply heartbreaking. (Please consider donating to her GoFundMe.) Despite the clear grief in her eyes and demeanor, she seemed surprisingly calm and grounded. Perhaps she knew the power of her incredible support system. Her friends doted on her, poured her tea, held her, and brought her care packages. The way they cared for her made my heart explode.
Later, I learned that when her house burned down, she had just sat down to read and received no evacuation warning. She is alive because someone started driving around the neighborhood and honking repeatedly and intensely to get people out of their homes. When I saw the video of this man driving around and honking, the trees in the background were on fire! The sky was red. It was already too late but he was driving around, doing his best, saving people home by home. This took my breath away. The amount of community love blows my mind. This is why volunteering has been the only thing keeping me sane. People have come together for mutual aid in such organized and generous ways that this needs to be written about more. People’s love and care for each other has been the highlight of this nightmare. The grassroots efforts to support victims and firefighters have helped more than people and organizations whose job this is. This is what I mean when I say the people hold the power. Climate catastrophe and the systems that are responsible for it don’t end here; but people everywhere are discovering the power of their unity, and that is a beautiful thing. We take care of each other like we always have. When our systems fail us, we come back to all we’ve ever had: each other.
It has all felt apocalyptic. A painful reminder of the fleeting nature of all things. The impossibility of permanency. The inevitable vulnerability of finding yourself attached to a place, a home, a corner of that impossible permanence.
Life is incredibly fragile and beautiful in this fragility; every moment calls for whole hearts, full presence, and being—always, every day, now more than yesterday.
Resources
It is only human to feel hopeless and defeated in the face of the climate catastrophe of our lifetime. If you struggle with climate anxiety or need help processing this never-ending grief or finding hope, I urge you to read this piece by Aisha Mirza. Please take time to get extra rest if you can. The world likes to hypernormalize everything, even in the face of natural disasters, but we can be honest with ourselves and our bodies. If you feel distress in your bones, it’s time to take a break, make some tea, and breathe for a moment.
Below are a few resources for supporting those affected by the wildfires. Please donate and share as widely as you possibly can. While the media loves to show us the mansions that have burnt down, there are many BIPOC communities affected by these wildfires that need our help to rebuild their lives.
I have also been and continue to share important resources on my Instagram stories, all of which are saved under LA highlights on my profile.
If you’re looking to donate or volunteer, below are some resources.
Pasadena Human Society: Emergency Relief for Animal Rescue
For local LA folks: Pair & Care. Volunteer to be directly paired with individuals impacted by wildfires.
Other places to donate: Core, World Central Kitchen
Please remember that rebuilding this vast destruction takes immense time and resources for the families affected. Much of the support, resources, and volunteers will be needed in the coming months and over the next year. It’s never too late, and no amount is ever too little <3
Recipes
If you need some extra hydration and nourishment this winter, these recipes are for you. They are meant to balance your body's energy and warm your heart. Perhaps you or a loved one is sick, or you live in LA and want to care for your nervous system and lungs with some love. These are the healing recipes of my ancestors and are what you would learn from an Iranian grandma. Hope these easy ways to care for yourself and others comes in handy for you. xx
These healing recipes in today’s newsletter are free for all, so please share them with anyone you think could use this extra nourishment.
Recipe: Healing Tea
This tea might be very familiar to you if you are Iranian or have Iranian relatives. If brewed with black tea, enjoying this aromatic tea blend is very common among Iranians. Families have their own versions with additions of other aromatics. This tea paired with nabat, saffron rock sugar on a stick, is said to heal everything. So you get it. Brew yourself a cup of this ancient medicine and drink it daily.
Ingredients
Saffron: Saffron has been used for centuries for its healing properties. It balances the energy of the mind and body and is a natural antidepressant and anti-inflammatory. It is also known as nature’s aphrodisiac tea.
Cardamom: Cardamom is known for its endless health benefits, from promoting digestive and cardiovascular health to assisting in inflammation and blood sugar regulation. It also helps with mental clarity, emotional processing, sleep, and stress.
Rose: Besides its beautiful calming aroma, rose is an antioxidant powerhouse, it provides cardiovascular and immune support. It is another powerful anti-inflammatory that can significantly help menstrual pain. Most importantly, it has “cooling” properties that soothe the mind and heart, and can help restore balance disrupted by stress, pain, and anxiety.
Orange peel: Limonene, the special oil found in the orange skin, is known for its countless benefits: anticancer, anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, etc. It protects the digestive and immune systems. Orange peels are also used in Ayurvedic medicine to clear and strengthen the lungs, improving respiratory function.
Directions
To mortar, add 4-5 strands of saffron, a pinch of sugar, 3 cardamom pods, and crush with the pestle. We just want to break them down, no need to grind them fully.
Add the crushed spices to a teapot, add in a few buds of dried rose, and an orange peel. Optionally, add black or green tea here if you’d like.
Add hot water to fill the teapot. Allow the tea to brew for 4 minutes before sharing and enjoying. You can sweeten the tea if desired, or enjoy it iced in the warmer months.
Recipe: 24 Hr Chicken Broth
I made this chicken broth on New Year’s Eve and simmered it into the New Year. So basically, it started last year and was ready this year. And I do have to tell you that drinking this broth was the perfect remedy to the NYE partying fatigue. Now, the broth is frozen in batches, and I can use it in soups all winter. Yay!
This is one of those recipes that is not fancy or colorful but is wildly healing and nourishing, and it will be the base of the many winter recipes I will share. It is a wonderful broth to use that leftover turkey carcass during the holiday season or the bones from your Costco rotisserie chicken. I recommend making a big batch of this and freezing it in portions, so that you can enjoy it in soups, ramen, stews, and sauces throughout the winter. Future you will be so grateful that you did that. Do not be intimidated by cooking time, it is all passive cooking, requiring little to no effort from you while your broth simmers, this allows us to extract all those nutrients. Simmer and forget, you know?
Disclaimer: That being said, if you don’t have the safest burner set-up or don’t feel safe leaving a pot on simmer overnight, you can do a shorter simmer, for as long as you are comfortable, ideally, at least 8 hours.
However, if you know you can safely simmer this pot overnight, very low and slow, trust me. This slow cooking creates an aromatic depth of flavor. The broth is so tasty and flavorful that you can drink it, and you should. * wink wink * We are adding a few simple anti-inflammatory ingredients, many of which you probably already have on hand. The simplicity is the reason I love this broth. Whenever I get fried chicken, wings, or a rotisserie, I save the bones in the freezer and use them in this broth.
Ingredients
Chicken bones and meat/ whole chicken or turkey carcass, or one pound of any cut of chicken, ideally bone-in and skin-on
1/2 gallon of water, or more to cover the bones/meat
3 bay leaves
6 cloves of garlic, peeled
1 large white onion, peeled and sliced into quarters
2 inches of ginger, sliced
an inch of fresh turmeric (preferred), if available, grated or 1/2 tbsp turmeric powder
3 cardamom pods, whole
2 tbsps sea salt, plus more to taste
equipment:
large lidded pot
large strainer
Directions
Place the chicken and all aromatics inside a large pot. Pour water over the ingredients, enough to cover the bones.
Cover the pot with a lid and place it on high heat.
Once the water comes to a boil, reduce to a low simmer.
Allow the broth to simmer on low for up to 24 hours, or for at least 8. Check every few hours and add water if the water level is too low. However, the simmer should be very low, and the water should not evaporate too fast.
After the simmer, allow the broth to cool for 30 minutes.
Strain the broth, pour into jars, and refrigerate once cooled.
Remove any remaining meat from the bones for chicken soup, haleem, or other dishes.
Haleem recipe coming soon…
Thank you for being here, my friend. I apologize that my first newsletter of the year was later than I wanted it to be. The past few weeks of fires have taken over our lives. I hope the recipes compensate for the delay; more is coming soon.
If you are enjoying this newsletter, please send it to a friend, lover, or enemy. <3
As always, reply to this email or comment with any recipe requests, questions, or musings. Thank you for being here.
with love,
Helia